Sassy, Strong, and Seen: Let Your Confidence Do The Talking
The following blog post is written by Bhavika Jagwani / bhavikajagwani.com
The moment I stepped into Depop HQ, I was hit with a wave of red. No, not just their branding—the confidence in the room was on fire. 🔥
She Bytes Back has returned, bigger and better than ever, teaming up with Depop and Signify Technology’s Women in the City for a night that was nothing short of electric. The air was buzzing with laughter, real talk, and raw wisdom as women from all walks of life shared unfiltered stories about overcoming obstacles and finding success, sometimes in the most unexpected ways.
From memes that had us all in stitches to lessons that made us nod in unison, it felt like I was sitting in the front row (you bet I grabbed that seat 🪑) of a live masterclass on life, work, and confidence.
Keep reading for ALL the spicy takeaways I walked away with—and trust me, these aren’t just feel-good quotes. These are practical, no-BS gems to help you level up in every corner of your life. 🌶️
Amber Shand: Because Owning Your Worth Is a Whole Mood
If there’s one thing Amber Shand, Founder of She Bytes Back, can do like no other, it’s hype you up while dropping truth bombs that sting a little—okay, maybe a lot—but leave you thinking, damn, she’s right.
Her keynote on the 3-step method for owning your worth? Pure brilliance.
1. Know Your Sauce: The seasoning, the spice, and everything nice
We all want to be 🎀that girl 🎀—you know, the one who seems to have it all together and breezes through life like it’s no big deal. But let’s be honest, in chasing this ideal, we forget just how much we bring to the table.
Amber’s first step is all about embracing your “sauce.” It’s not just your resume or accomplishments, it’s the unique blend of quirks, skills, experiences and all the goodness that make you, you. Forget trying to master it all; the world doesn’t need perfection, it needs authenticity. As Amber put it: “You’re the only one who can bring what you bring.”
And she’s so right. Imagine how boring life would be if everyone was good at everything. Your creative flair, your unpolished moments, and even your flaws are where the magic happens.
Takeaway: Embrace your unique flavour. You don’t need to do it all—you just need to do you.
2. Confront Your Inner Critic: Be your loudest cheerleader
You know that voice in your head? The one that nitpicks every move you make and convinces you you’re “not enough”? Yeah, it’s time to put it in its place.
Amber reminded us to challenge that inner critic but with a little kindness—and a lot of facts. Instead of asking, “Why can’t I do this?” try flipping the script: “How can I do this?” Shifting from self-criticism to curiosity creates space for growth and silences that nagging voice.
She also introduced the concept of a “wins tracker.” It’s a simple yet genius way to document your successes, big or small. When imposter syndrome tries to creep in, you’ve got the receipts to remind yourself just how amazing you are. And let’s face it: you can’t deny facts that say just how amazing you are, can you? 😏✨
Takeaway: Challenge the critic, track your wins, and keep receipts to prove (to yourself) how far you’ve come.
3. Take Action and Lean Into Community: You don’t have to go it alone
Amber’s final step? Action + community = confidence 💅
She made it clear: finding your people is essential. When you’re surrounded by those who cheer for your wins, pick you up after losses, and remind you of your magic, you can’t help but show up as your best self.
She also introduced the Japanese concept of Ikigai—your “reason for being.” This is where your passion, talent, and purpose intersect. And guess what? You don’t need to find your Ikigai alone. Community is where you’ll discover the courage to pursue your purpose and the support to keep going when things get tough.
Takeaway: Take action, find your ikigai and lean into your community.
Amber’s Mic-Drop Moment
"Things don't have to happen in YOUR time; they will just happen in time. So lean into community and keep showing up"
Amber left us with a final gem: worthiness isn’t earned—it’s inherent. So often, we put off feeling “enough” until we hit some arbitrary milestone—but you don’t have to wait. Your worth doesn’t need a deadline. You’ve already arrived.
Now, let’s talk about the panel.
The energy in the room took an expansive turn as a powerhouse panel of women took the stage, each ready to dig deep, share their unconventional journeys, and offer perspectives that made us rethink everything from career growth to personal fulfilment.
These women didn’t just speak—they commanded the room. Each one brought their unapologetic flair, offering insights that made us rethink the way we approach life and work. Here’s the spill on the golden nuggets they dropped:
Adama Lorna: Personal Branding That (Actually) Works
Personal branding often gets a bad rap, but Adama Lorna, a social media sensation with over 100,000 followers across TikTok & YouTube and millions of views, reframed it in a way that felt doable—even for those of us who cringe at the thought of talking about ourselves. 🫠
“It’ll feel cringe at first, but that’s what will get you seen.”
The key? Start with what you genuinely love. Speak about your passions, and your authenticity will shine through, attracting the right people.
Takeaways:
Talk about what excites you. Your energy is contagious. Share it, and watch your network grow.
Engage consistently. Whether it’s LinkedIn posts or casual conversations, showing up regularly makes all the difference.
Lean into the cringe. The discomfort is temporary, but the connections you build will last.
Stephanie Shaw: The Mentorship-Sponsorship Equation
Stephanie Shaw, finalist in the Social Good category at the BTA Awards 2024 and a supporter of the neurodivergent community, delivered a reality check 💯 on a concept we don’t talk about enough: sponsorship. While mentorship offers guidance, sponsorship takes it further—it’s about opening doors and creating opportunities.
“Mentors give advice. Sponsors get you in the room.”
If you’ve been relying only on mentorship, it’s time to diversify. Find people who will advocate for you in spaces where decisions are made. That starts with speaking up.
Takeaway: Be clear about what you want. People can’t sponsor you if they don’t know your goals.
Susan Barrance: Motherhood and Grace Under Pressure
Susan Barrance, Associate Director and part of the Women in the City community brought the house down with her take on balancing motherhood and ambition.
“Motherhood doesn’t give you the option to say no—you just figure it out.”
Her advice wasn’t just for parents; it was a universal reminder to embrace change with grace and let go of the expectation to have everything figured out. Her anecdotes, like one about "trying hard" at the gym—where pushing too hard leads to injury, versus showing up and doing your best despite expectations—not only resonated but reminded us all to keep going, even when things don’t go perfectly. 💪
Takeaway: Progress over perfection, every time.
Phillipa Rodney: Failing Fast and Leading with Heart
Phillipa Rodney, a multi-award-winning Software Engineering Leader and Co-founder of The Ascend Foundation reminded us all that leadership is about humanity, not perfection.
“Fail fast, but learn faster.”
Her philosophy of being grounded in authenticity and vulnerability is what makes her a true leader. By creating safe spaces for others to grow, she empowers her team and leads by example. 🌱
Takeaways:
Embrace your mistakes. They’re not failures; they’re lessons.
Create trust by being genuine and transparent.
Use coaching as a tool for empowerment.
Negotiation 101: Silence is Golden
One of the evening’s final lessons was all about self-advocacy, particularly in negotiations. Write down these golden rules ✍️
Come prepared with your wins. Evidence builds confidence.
State your case, then stop talking. Silence is powerful—it forces the other person to process and respond.
Be willing to walk away. Knowing your worth means being OK with leaving the table when the terms don’t align.
Author’s Takeaway
The night was full of wisdom, but what really stuck with me was the undeniable power of community. The laughter, the honesty, and the shared purpose reminded me that we're not just stronger together—we're unstoppable.
So, how can you start showing up as your best self? Let’s do this:
1️⃣ Track your wins. Every achievement counts—big or small. Celebrate them. 🎉
2️⃣ Lean into community. Find the spaces that make you feel seen and supported. You don’t have to do this alone. We at She Bytes Back are a friendly bunch, I promise. 😉
3️⃣ Own your narrative. Whether it’s your brand, your goals, or your story—take control. You got this, girl. ❤️
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